Dear Korean guy who took over from Kofi Annan,
First, let me apologise for not knowing your name. I'm sure it's a fine Korean name. But I have more pressing matters to attend to rather than google your name to find it out.
I think we need to have some sort of global campaign against speedos, budgie-smugglers, dick bathers, meat-hangers, whatever it is you want to call them. Having spent quite a bit of time at the beach lately, I can't help but notice the number of fat, ugly men who feel the need to wear the skimpiest bathers they can. One man was actually wearing a g-string style of swimwear which was not only unflattering, but it put me off my food. And the food is good in Thailand.
I fail to see why we can't establish some form of Coalition of the Willing to eradicate this visual terror from our shores. And our swimming pools. After all, boardies are far more flattering, and they also reduce the amount of skin exposed to dangerous UV rays, which is also a good thing.
I'm sure you would find, unlike previous global campaigns (Iraq etc.) that there would be considerable support for this campaign. After all, nobody (except an unfortunate number of corpulent European men) think that speedos are a good thing. This could be a great way for the world to re-unite - Arab and Jew, Australian and New Zealander, American and everybody else - around a common goal for the common good.
And what a crowning glory for your new term it would be!
I trust you will consider my proposal.
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