Appeasing Worried Mum Update # 2

Number of $1 khmer massages I have received from blind Cambodian men: ZERO

Number of times I have had unprotected sexual relations with Cambodian women of the night: ZERO

Protected sex? Also ZERO

Number of approaches made to me by thugs promising to kill you if I don't strap heroin to my body and fly it back into Australia: ZERO

Number of times I have acquiesced to the Siem Reap hospital's blood drive: ZERO

Symptoms of tropical diseases:

Haemorraegic Dengue Fever (It's going around apparently...): NIL
Lymphatic Filariasis: NIL
Sleeping Sickness: NIL (I have just checked... I am awake.)
Leprosy: NIL (All appendages present and accounted for.)